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youjustmissedhim

you know what screw it, its make-a-persona time

so im thinking about me and birds
-
hey how do you journal when you have adhd brain?
(can i put blinkies and fancy dividers on my posts? hmm)
-
*static noises* boy with wings that talk to him... yeah uh
-
He isn't sure if he chose to have the wings, but he has the wings, and they talk to him. He's pretty sure he didn't grow up with them, and he's pretty sure he isn't supposed to have them. But he does have the sense he kind of did, and was always supposed to have them. Is it worth dwelling on? It's hard to say right now. It feels *right* to have them, in any case.
-
boy with wings from a crow spirit that talks to him? it cant talk in "human" (maybe) but it can sorta communicate... human concepts from memories of watching humans... like it communicates with flashes of memories
boy: man i want a burger
crow: [sends a mental image of a fast food restaurant on 2nd and broad. the establishment is thought of with great attention, with murmurs of voices floating through. they have no discernible words, but you can feel theyre talking about the sweet burgers the place has. the crow has flown by it and staked out the place a ton of times. but the mental image quickly flickers to a memory of pecking at a cajun fry and lingering on the fry. the crow likes cajun fries. the crow wants to eat a whole serving of fries now that its part of a more human body.]

Current Mood: creative

ysabetwordsmith

Today is cloudy and mild.

I fed the birds. I've seen a mixed flock of sparrows and house finches.

I put out water for the birds.

EDIT 12/27/25 -- I did a bit of work around the patio.

EDIT 12/27/25 -- I did more work around the patio.

EDIT 12/27/25 -- I raked more in the parking lot. I had to make another line. It's exhausting and inefficient and not even making the stumps all that much easier to see.

EDIT 12/27/25 -- I did more work around the patio.

I've seen a fox squirrel at the hopper feeder.

I am done for the night.

Current Mood: busy

youjustmissedhim

hey me,

so its been a wild 2 weeks hasnt it
probably never couldve imagined something like this happening to you, i bet

its super late here so let me just try to jot down stuff i did today before i forget because oh man,
- spent a shit ton of time ruminating mega hard about the mess i found myself in and have to clean up even though i honest to god have nothing to do with it but hey you do what you gotta do
- dissociated mega hard and as much as i hate to acknowledge it some nice mysterious entity guy took over and wanted to say he wished he could help me more and... yeah i wish you could too buddy and... im glad to know youre there... even if its really fuckin scary to acknowledge that you are
- watched the fionna and cake season 2 finale... havent really processed it. i should watch the show for myself
- had a turkey sandwich from costco
- had a helados strawberry ice cream bar, overpriced (but admittedly delicious as fuck) safeway tomato basil soup
- entered a feverish desperate headspace to make my own accounts and shit (now i have my own tumblr and this dreamwidth account, woohoo)
- started trying to learn how toyhouse works
- started trying to figure out a good way to compile stuff for my creative projects
- *decided* i was going to have my own creative projects
- started brainstorming for an oc which ended with me setting my mind on really making stuff for myself
- talked to people on discord about my maybe past life and wanting to have my own life in this world

note to future self: this isnt chronological
other notes to future self: uhh,

shit, its almost 5am. i should check the fuck out. im supposed to go grocery shopping today. hopefully i can make a part 2 on this with more details

notable thoughts:
i just want to be myself and its looking like finding out what that really means is going to be really really scary
(also... hi, crow in my brain maybe? i have no idea)

- dt signing off

Current Mood: but also hopeful
Current Location: my bedroom
Current Music: time and i - jukebox the ghost

ysabetwordsmith

People have expressed interest in deep topics, so this list focuses on philosophical questions.

Do you think there will ever be a global government? If a world government did come to power, assuming it wasn’t particularly cruel or evil, would it be a good or bad thing?

( Read more... )

Current Mood: busy

ysabetwordsmith

These are the rest of the pictures from Lights on the Prairie. Begin with Part 1. Read Today's Adventures for a more detailed text description.

( Walk with me ... )

Current Mood: excited

ysabetwordsmith

Today we went to see Lights on the Prairie. I took a lot of pictures, with variable results. Some look good, some are fuzzy. That's okay because I like off-focus light pictures, from fuzzy or squiggly to downright abstract. My partner Doug says that to get really good pictures of the place would take a tripod and a slower exposure. I tend to agree. I don't even know if my camera has a "night" setting, so I just swapped between flash and no flash. It was fun anyhow. Continue with Part 2.

Here there be spoilers...

( Walk with me ... )

Current Mood: excited

ysabetwordsmith

Today we went to the walk-through display Lights on the Prairie. It was awesome. :D See the picture posts Part 1, Part 2.

1/2 mile of Christmas lights walking through pine tree paths and a beautiful view across the pond.
Games, hot chocolate, and light snacks are available in the pavilion afterwards.
GPS address: Prairie Land Gymnastics and Tumbling
Friday and Saturday nights 5-8 PM, November 28-January 3
2151 CR 1300 E, Lovington, IL, United States, Illinois
(217) 508-3199
Free event, but donations are appreciated to support the project.

( Read more... )

Current Mood: happy

ysabetwordsmith

These are the content notes for "Genuinely Sufficient Resources."

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Current Mood: busy

ysabetwordsmith

Today is cloudy and mild. It rained again last night.

I fed the birds. I've seen a few house finches and sparrows.

I put out water for the birds.

EDIT 12/26/25 -- I did a bit of work around the patio.

EDIT 12/26/25 -- I did more work around the patio.

EDIT 12/26/25 -- I did more work around the patio.

I am done for the night.

Current Mood: busy

As One Listens to the Rain

by Octavio Paz, translated by Paul Weinfield.

Listen to me as one listens to the rain,
not attentive, not distracted,
light steps, soft drizzle,
water that is air, air that is time,
the day is just leaving,
the night yet to arrive,
figurations of mist
are just around the corner,
figurations of time
at the turn of this pause,
listen to me as one listens to the rain,
without listening, hear what I say
with eyes open inward,
asleep with all five senses awake,
rain, light steps, a murmuring of syllables,
air and water, words without weight:
what we were and are,
the days and years, this moment,
weightless time, great grief,
listen to me as one listens to the rain,
the wet asphalt sparkles,
the steam rises and walks,
the night unfolds and beholds me,
you are you and your waist of fog,
you and your face of night,
you and your hair, slow lightning,
you cross the street and come in through my forehead,
footsteps of water upon both my eyelids,
listen to me as one listens to the rain,
the asphalt sparkles, you cross the street,
the fog wandering in the night,
it is the night, asleep in your bed,
it is the wave of your breath,
your fingers of water dampen my forehead,
your fingers of flame burn both of my eyes,
your fingers of air open eyelids of time,
a welling up of visions and resurrections,
listen to me as one listens to the rain,
years go by, moments return,
do you hear the footsteps in the other room?
neither here nor there: you hear them
in another time that is also this time,
listen to the footsteps of time,
inventor of places with no weight or location,
listen to the rain running over the terrace,
the night is now more night in the garden,
lightning has nested there among the leaves,
a restless garden lazily drifting
— come in, your shadow covers this page.

ysabetwordsmith

These are the location notes for "Genuinely Sufficient Resources."

( Read more... )

Current Mood: busy

ysabetwordsmith

These are the character notes for "Genuinely Sufficient Resources."

( Read more... )

Current Mood: busy

ysabetwordsmith

This poem is spillover from the February 4, 2025 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by prompts from

alchemicink,

dialecticdreamer,

kellan_the_tabby, and

rix_scaedu. It also fills the "Taking It Slow" square in my 2-1-25 card for the Valentines Bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by a pool with

fuzzyred. It belongs to the Big One thread of the Polychrome Heroics series. It directly follows "When You're Lost, You Question Everything,"

( Read more... )

Current Mood: busy

ysabetwordsmith

Today's theme is Learning.

( Read more... )

Current Mood: busy

ysabetwordsmith

This poem is spillover from the November 4, 2025 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by prompts from

siliconshaman,

mama_kestrel , and

see_also_friend. It also fills the "Fairies" square in my 11-1-25 card for the Fairy Tales and Fantasy Stories Bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by a pool with

fuzzyred. It belongs to the Big One thread of the Polychrome Heroics series.

( Read more... )

Current Mood: busy

ysabetwordsmith

These are the notes for "Technique, Timing, and Leverage."

( Read more... )

Current Mood: busy

ysabetwordsmith

This poem came out of the June 4, 2024 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by prompts from

siliconshaman and

wyld_dandelyon. It also fills the "Family" square in my 6-1-24 card for the Pride Fest Bingo. This poem has been sponsored by a pool with

fuzzyred. It belongs to the Big One and Kraken threads of the Polychrome Heroics series.

( Read more... )

Current Mood: busy

ysabetwordsmith

16 Cats Cozying Up Next To The Fireplace

And by cozying up I mean literally getting as close to it as they can — without self-combusting.

Current Mood: amused

ysabetwordsmith

silwritersguild has posted about a free copy of "The Fëanorian Zine" which you can download as a PDF.

Current Mood: busy

ysabetwordsmith

Oceans are supercharging hurricanes past Category 5

Warming oceans are fueling a surge of extreme, off-the-charts storms—so powerful that scientists say it’s time to invent a whole new hurricane category.

Deep ocean hot spots packed with heat are making the strongest hurricanes and typhoons more likely—and more dangerous. These regions, especially near the Philippines and the Caribbean, are expanding as climate change warms ocean waters far below the surface. As a result, storms powerful enough to exceed Category 5 are appearing more often, with over half occurring in just the past decade. Researchers say recognizing a new “Category 6” could improve public awareness and disaster planning.

( Read more... )

Current Mood: busy

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