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[personal profile] lb_lee
"It's not irretrievably lost, you know. You can have it back."
"But--but--the life I've had--the things I've done--you can't just wipe them out, like wiping a slate clean!"
"No. But they can be integrated. Right now they dominate you. They can become only memories, part of the suffering you've known, but suffering from which you've learned, from which you have been tempered--like fine steel. Emotional health doesn't mean reshuffling your memories or selective amnesia. It means integration--wholeness. It means strength. It means becoming your own person."
Blurb: Doc Phoenix, a superpsychologist dream-diver, dives into the headspace of a corrupt politician who wants to change his ways... and maybe assassinate the good doctor afterward.

Why is it worth your time?: This is self-declared pulp, and it embraces that genre. Deep art it is not, but it is entertaining. Weird Heroes was a series with the self-proclaimed central message of "Respect life and enjoy it," and the idea of a hero who works to rescue people's minds from the inside out is a pretty great premise! If you just want a fun, humble psychological adventure, this is worth a shot.

Plural Tags: abuse low-focus, bodyhopping, otherworld, dreamfolk, visions

Content Warnings: contain spoilers; see comments

Access Notes: This short story was in the anthology Weird Heroes, vol. 2, edited by Byron Preiss at Pyramid Books. Unlike the sequel, this book has been digitized on Anna's Archive! Uncertain whether it is screenreadable.

Misc Notes: Got a book-length sequel, called the Oz Encounter (or Weird Heroes Vol. 5: Doc Phoenix: the Oz Encounter), which is also worth reading, though apparently that one has never been digitized! Obviously I should fix that.
lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, enclosed within a circle with the words LB Lee. (Default)
[personal profile] lb_lee
The two editions have different subtitles. The 1996 edition is Nearly Roadkill: An Infobahn Erotic Adventure and marketed as cyberpunk, while the 2025 edition is Nearly Roadkill: Queer Love on the Run, and marketed as romance.
Karn: Question: ... ::drumroll:: Online, what *is* your "self"?
Leilia: Oh, christ, there's the question of a lifetime.Karn: Uh huh. Why so for you?
Leilia:
I really become that person online. That's the scary thing. i really believe my fiction. Used to feel bad about it, but obviously there's truth in those fictions.
Blurb: Genderfucking netizens Scratch and Winc splatter across self and identity in this cyberpunk epistolary novel, accidentally starting a global Internet strike, getting accused of high treason, and falling in love.

Why is it worth your time?: Sullivan and Bornstein are queers who used lots of their own chatlogs for this book, which depending on your feeling will be either a good thing or a bad thing. The 1996 edition especially has a lot of pontificating on the nature of self and personality on the Internet, including an exchange where the hero/ines email with a self-declared MPD multi going by "StLouis7." (They decide that they aren't that kind of multiple, but they DO have multiple genders and are exploring interesting expansions of self!) Scratch's persona of Razorfun is ESPECIALLY separate, to the point that Razorfun outright says that "it is my most primitive persona. It is where I go when in danger" and when Winc has to ask Scratch to break out of the Razorfun persona, it's stated to be both difficult and painful. If you're interested in queer cyberspace of the '90s, check it out!

Plural/1+ Tags: abuse not mentioned, creator speaks from experience, otherworld (cyberspace), fictioneers (Lt. Yar and Jadzia Dax from Star Trek), nonhumans (Dax is a Trill, Scratch mentions multiple times wishing ze wa a wolf with a tail), switching, on purpose

Content Warnings: include spoilers; see comments

Accessibility Notes: Okay, so heads up, the 1996 edition and the 2025 editions of this book differ subtly but significantly! The 2025 edition just came out, and it's available in paperback, ebook, and audiobook; it's much easier to find and removed a fair bit, including stuff that really needed removal... but also a lot of the most interesting (to us) ponderings of the nature of self! It also simplified the typefaces and style, but in our opinion to the book's detriment; with all the chats, web diaries, emails, news stories, and announcements flying around, it can be easy to get lost! So the 2025 edition is smoother and simpler.

Meanwhile, the 1996 edition is rough and crunchy in a very '90s way; while the 2025 edition focuses more on gender and romance, the '96 edition pays more attention to self in general. The older edition is expensive and difficult to find these days, though it's been scanned and bootlegged online, and the first chapter is available in clean screenreadable PDF on the Wayback Machine. Take a look, compare and contrast the formatting, and pick the edition you prefer! We are grateful for reading both simultaneously, comparing the drafts side-by-side.
lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, enclosed within a circle with the words LB Lee. (Default)
[personal profile] lb_lee
(words by Martha Bonds, music by Marcia McCombe)

Do I know you?
Are you dreaming of tomorrow?
If so, it seems you're a starchild, just like me.
The night's alive,
And we travel 'cross the light years,
TV screens and books of dreams can set us free.
Blurb: A fan (filk) song about how fans find meaning, joy, and other worlds through Star Trek.

Why is it worth your time?: It's an old fandom song about finding home and new worlds in the fictional. Definitely worth a listen to, for any fiction folk around!

Plural/1+ Tags: abuse not mentioned, creator speaks from experience, otherworld, fictioneers

Content Warnings: None

Accessibility Notes: I will post the lyrics in the comments! Otherwise, it is only available in The Complete Omicron Ceti III Lyric Book (not screenreadable) and the record album Only Stars Can Last.
lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, enclosed within a circle with the words LB Lee. (Default)
[personal profile] lb_lee
(words by Martha Bonds, music by Kathy Burns)

I know a place so far away, a place I long to see,
There's no way to travel there, I must reach it in a dream,
The dreams they are so special, they take me there again,
A thousand conquered dangers, heroes, lovers, friends.
Blurb: A song about "Fans' feelings about [Star] Trek."

Why is it worth your time?: It's an old fandom song about finding home and new worlds in the fictional. Definitely worth a listen to, for any fiction folk around!

Plural/1+ Tags: abuse not mentioned, creator speaks from experience, otherworld, dreamfolk, fictioneers

Content Warnings: None

Accessibility Notes: I will post the lyrics in the comments; you can also listen to it on YouTube! Otherwise, it is only available in The Complete Omicron Ceti III Lyric Book (not screenreadable) and on the album Only Stars Can Last.
lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, enclosed within a circle with the words LB Lee. (Default)
[personal profile] lb_lee
(Learned of this poem thanks to [profile] rybbot. Thanks, [profile] rybbot!)

For it isn't your Father, or Mother, or Wife,
Who judgement upon you must pass.
The feller whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the guy staring back from the glass.


Blurb: A poem about the importance of honesty and being able to make peace with yourself.

Why is it worth your time?: It's a good poem! Probably not intended to be plural, but hey, if it's about making friends with yourself, who's to say it ain't? It's free, online, and almost a hundred years old, what more could one want out of life?

Plural Tags: abuse not mentioned, friendship

Content Warnings: None

Access Notes: Free, online, and screenreadable at https://www.theguyintheglass.com/gig.htm thanks to Wimbrow's children! Back-up link here: https://web.archive.org/web/19990428030413/https://www.theguyintheglass.com/gig.htm

Misc Notes: Wimbrow's kids list the context and copyright information of this poem here: https://web.archive.org/web/19991008172354/http://www.theguyintheglass.com/copyright.htm
lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, enclosed within a circle with the words LB Lee. (Default)
[personal profile] lb_lee
Submitted by [personal profile] quailfence! Thank you, [personal profile] quailfence!
Something—not a thought, but almost—flickered across her gray matter. The Smoulder, walking; looking at the faded wallpaper; feeling the flexion in her feet. And then it was a thought:

[This again?]

(Wait, were costumes supposed to remember—)
Blurb: In the future, sex worker Evie uses a technological 'costume' to help her with her job, and in particular a client of hers known as 'the company man'. But the costume has been starting to act strange recently...

Why is it worth your time?: It's good! I like how sex work is presented as just A Job in the story - not something uniquely awful but not exactly Great either. I also found the high-tech costumes to be an interesting piece of tech, and the story uses them very well

Plural/1+ Tags: bodyhopping, type:setting-specific, type:switching. Not really sure how to rate the abuse in this one??

Content Warnings: include spoilers; see comments

Accessibility Notes: Online, free, screenreadable here: https://www.lightspeedmagazine.com/fiction/the-girlfriend-experience/ Back-up link here: https://web.archive.org/web/20250922133223/https://www.lightspeedmagazine.com/fiction/the-girlfriend-experience/

lb_lee: a purple horned female symbol interlocked with a female symbol mixed with a question mark (xenogals)
[personal profile] lb_lee
"As she walked through the door, twin reflections of the firmset of her back moved closer together in the corner of the restaurant window. The images converged in the mirrored panes of glass and vanished inside each other like chips of colored crystal in a kaleidoscope."

Blurb: In a near-future where same-sex relationships are legally sanctioned but surveillance culture is on full-blast, a woman uses intense full-body tattooing to merge with her lover, so as to escape and overcome together.

Why is it worth your time?: This is a very nontraditional fusion story between two singlets who embrace each other and are strong at each other's weaknesses, choosing to become one being. Gomez is a good writer and worth checking out, though mostly well-known in the lesbian and black presses!

Plural/1+ Tags: abuse not mentioned (though high focus is the inevitable grinding effects of surviving in their society), cofronting, fusion/integration, identityblending, memory work, romantic relationships, setting-specific

Content Warnings: dealing with a surveillance society that accepts queerness... well, some of it... and foster care referenced in the past. This is DEFINITELY a story about your job grinding you down slowly to pieces over time, though!

Accessibility Notes: Available in Gomez's collection Don't Explain and MIT Press's re:Skin anthology. Much to my annoyance (and somewhat to my incredulity), both works are out of print (and the decade-older Don't Explain seems cheaper and easier to get!) and neither were officially digitized. If you want a screen-readable copy, you have to go to Anna's Archive.

Misc. Notes: Jewelle Gomez has some neat things to say about this work, but it contains SPOILERS so will be in the comments below!
lb_lee: a purple horned female symbol interlocked with a female symbol mixed with a question mark (xenogals)
[personal profile] lb_lee
"You, too, are tainted with the Vampire strain
The same blood surges through us both, like wine.
No wonder that our thoughts and moods combine
And merge beyond the common, earthly plane."


Blurb: One vampire joins with another to walk together through ebon nights.

Why is it worth your time?: It's an old vampire poem from a prominent lesbian about embracing difference together. It's short and free; give it a shot! The lesbianism is all subtextual, due to the time period, but if you're looking for it, it's there!

Plural/1+ Tags: abuse not mentioned, identityblending, nonhumans (vampires), intimate relationships

Content Warnings: None.

Accessibility Notes: Unless you can track down an old copy of Acolyte #10, the only place to get this poem in print is in the anthology Sisters of Tomorrow: The First Women of Science Fiction, edited by Yaszek and Sharp and published by Wesleyan University Press. Some kindly soul has digitized it on archive.org, but the OCR is so poor that I'm just posting the poem in its entirety in the comments for accessibility's sake. Back-up link (with flawed but better OCR) at fanac.com.

Misc. Notes (if any): Tigrina was one of the pseudonyms of prominent lesbian Edythe Eyde, AKA Lisa Ben, who created Vice Versa, the first queer magazine (that we know of) in the USA in the '40s. If you want the outright lesbian stuff (though nothing relevant for this catalog), check Vice Versa out here!
lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, enclosed within a circle with the words LB Lee. (Default)
[personal profile] lb_lee
“What are your pronouns?” I ask, after they introduce themselves, trying to be polite.

“We/us/our,” is the response.


Blurb: A drunken date, a sloppy makeout, a merging into a happy greater hivemind.

Why is it worth your time?: A fun realitybending story of mind joining. It's short, online, and free!

Plural Tags: abuse not mentioned, creator speaks from experience, identity blending, romantic relationships

Content Warnings: identity loss and alcohol

Access Notes: free, online, screenreadable

Misc Notes: Read it here! Back-up link here.
lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, enclosed within a circle with the words LB Lee. (Default)
[personal profile] lb_lee
We dream of us. Complete and secure within ourself, requiring nothing, but desiring everything.


Blurb: A dream of merging into a greater hivemind.

Why is it worth your time?: It's short, beautiful, and surreal. Plus it's free!

Plural Tags: abuse not mentioned, dreamfolk, creator speaks from experience, identityblending, intimate relationships

Content Warnings: loss of identity

Access Notes: free to read, screenreadable, online

Misc Notes: Read online here! Back-up link here.
lb_lee: A colored pencil drawing of Raige's freckled hand holding a hot pink paperback entitled the Princess and Her Monster (book)
[personal profile] lb_lee
Though I don't think I'll be telling our clients about it any time soon, Lance mused. Somehow I don't think they'd be interested in hiring a man with forty-odd alters and a nanobot hive living inside him.


Blurb: The Company, a cyborg security specialist with MPD and a sentient nanobot hive, has escaped their abusive father and built a productive, if not necessarily happy life for themselves. But when your father is richer than God, sometimes it's not easy to escape the past...

Why is it worth your time?: This one was solidly entertaining! The author alternates chapters between the Company's present as an adult and their past as a child. Each time period merges to climax at the same time, both dealing with their abusive father, who is a kind of terrifying that is hard to write well, but we found the depiction credible and scary. (What if YOUR abuser was as rich as Elon Musk and as spiteful and powerful as Donald Trump?) The climax was especially satisfying. This is very much a '90s MPD book, and the Company is definitely a type we have seen many times before, but there are worse things than to do that well! If you want a cyborg multi revenge fantasy, give it a try!

Plural Tags: abuse high focus (mind the content warnings!), closeting, cofronting, fusion/integration, identityblending, children, nonhumans (AI), family, enmity, and teamwork relationships, medical (MPD) type, switching, voices

Content Warnings: contain spoilers; see comments

Access Notes: Available on paperback and audiobook... and also in Italian, under the name La compagnia della mente! Someone has also bootlegged a digital copy on archive.org, the closest to an ebook you can get.

Misc Notes: Has a sequel, but this book stands alone totally fine.
lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, enclosed within a circle with the words LB Lee. (Default)
[personal profile] lb_lee
I come to myself and say:
I am here for you, little sister.


Blurb: A poem where a Buddhist nun reaches out to comfort her tormented younger self, embrace her pain, and transform it.

Why is it worth your time?: This poem is powerful, and one of the best, most succinct descriptions of what it feels like to descend into the abyss of youthful pain and transforming it in the present. Recommended!

Plural Tags: abuse high focus, creator speaks from experience, memory work, children

Content Warnings: contain spoilers; see comments

Access Notes: Available in the book, The River in Me: Collected Poems, available on paper and ebook. Sister Dang Nghiem has a lot of poems about dealing with pain in the past, embracing her past selves, and talking to them. The book itself is worth a read!
lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, enclosed within a circle with the words LB Lee. (Default)
[personal profile] lb_lee
Here is a child trapped inside the body


Blurb: A child within a young woman's body fantasizes about escaping sex.

Why is it worth your time?: Short, painful, poignant.

Plural Tags: creator speaks from experience, children,

Content Warnings: possible sexual violence? The poem is ambiguous

Access Notes: Available in the collection The River in Me: Collected Poems. Sister Dang Nghiem has a lot of poems about dealing with pain in the past, embracing her past selves, and talking to them. The book itself is worth a read! Available in paperback and ebook. This poem is also short enough that I'll just post it in the comments as well.
lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, enclosed within a circle with the words LB Lee. (Default)
[personal profile] lb_lee
"Will you take the job?"

Wehavetowehavetowehaveto.

Persistent as bear traps, those two. I smile through my teeth and the please that won't stop pounding in my head. "Kid, I don't think I have a choice."


Blurb: PI John Persons has been hired by a ten-year-old to kill the kid's abusive stepdad. Said stepdad is also a monster, which is good... because so is Persons.

Why is it worth your time?: This book grabbed us from the first page and couldn't be put down. John Persons is a Lovecraftian horror inhabiting the body of a dead man, the ghost of whom is still floating around in there somewhere (though not really active). The ghost will speak to him, he refers to "the body" and trying to take care of it despite being EXTREMELY corrosive to meat, and ugly Lovecraftian possession is a major theme. It's good!

Plural Tags: abuse intermediate focus, bodyhopping (alluded to in the past), nonhumans (eldritch Lovecraftian horrors and Elder Gods), the dead, possession, nonswitching, visions, voices

Content Warnings: contain spoilers; see comments

Access Notes: Available in German (as "Hämmer auf Knochen"), Catalan and Valencian (as "Persons Non Grata"). Ebook and paper.

Misc Notes: First book in the Persons Non Grata series!
lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, enclosed within a circle with the words LB Lee. (Default)
[personal profile] lb_lee
"Nicholas Paul is you, lad. This lovely lassie found you at once in her head, but she could not find you in person for a long time to come. So you became Nicholas."


Blurb: An adventure writer runs into her protagonist in real life... but how can this be? And what does it even mean to have life-or-death power over this poor bastard? Now they have to work together to figure out what happened.

Why is it worth your time?: This book is like a romance novel version of Stranger Than Fiction, and a lot of attention gets paid to the power dynamics of what it means to be author and character; it really, really sucks, turns out, and this is super relatable for anyone who's had similar concerns! This is a very traditional heterosexual romance, but the characters behave like decent, reasonable people and the idea is neat. If you're into Harlequin romances, this might be for you!

Plural Tags: abuse not mentioned, fusion/integration, identityblending, fictioneers, romantic relationships

Content Warnings: contain spoilers; see comments

Access Notes: This book is available on paperback, and some generous soul has bootlegged an OCR PDF of it on piracy websites.

Misc Notes: In the About the Author section: "Regan Forest has, for a long time, fantasized about creating a character--and then meeting him in real life. That spark generated Moonspell."
lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, enclosed within a circle with the words LB Lee. (Default)
[personal profile] lb_lee
"What about the others from the show? Do you ever see them?"

"They've all been gone for years. Longtusk held out the longest. But I was the star, and the stars are always the last ones left."


Blurb: Lauren's been a fan of Terrence Tiger since she was a little girl, and the chance to interview the cartoon star is any fan's dream. But there's more to Terrence than sight gags and pratfalls, and soon there's more to their relationship than either of them expected.

Why is it worth your time?: It's a bittersweet story of fandom and shameless love of the beings who populate our favorite cartoons. I enjoyed it!

Plural Tags: abuse not mentioned, nonhumans (Robert Rabbit style toons, anthropomorphic animals), romantic relationships

Content Warnings: contain spoilers; see comments

Access Notes: Available for free reading online on Weasyl (back-up link, also available in the collection Six Impossible Things and Bad Dog Press's ROAR vol. 3 (which appears to be out of print). Screenreadable.

Misc Notes:
lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, enclosed within a circle with the words LB Lee. (Default)
[personal profile] lb_lee
"I'm hallucinating," David said. "Right?"

Jinks stretched. "Never fails. When kids see something they can't explain, it's magic. When adults see something they can't explain, they're cracking up. It's a pretty limiting way of looking at the world, if you ask me."


Blurb: As a new father, David feels he's supposed to be an adult, but his premature daughter is clinging to life in the hospital, and he's never felt so helpless... until his childhood imaginary friend returns to remind him that growing up isn't just about leaving things behind.

Why is it worth your time?: It's a sweet story about intergenerational imaginary friends! Free to read online, give it a shot!

Plural Tags: abuse not mentioned, otherworld, imaginary friends, nonhumans (purple horned big cat, winged horse), friendship, visions

Content Warnings: It's not a spoiler to say that worries about a premature infant's survival is a big part of this story!

Access Notes: Free to read online at Weasyl. (Back-up link here.) Also available as part of the author's ebook short story collection Six Impossible Things.
lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, enclosed within a circle with the words LB Lee. (Default)
[personal profile] lb_lee
I wonder if you really send
Those dreams of you that come and go!
I like to say, "She thought of me,
And I have known it." Is it so?


Blurb: A poem where one woman pines for the loss of another, but is still able to be with her in dreams.

Why is it worth your time?: Similar in tone and content to Shakespeare's 27, a poem of those who visit us in dreams. It's free, short, and publicly online, what have you got to lose?

Plural Tags: abuse not mentioned, dreamfolk

Content Warnings: None.

Access Notes: Screenreadable and freely available to read online, courtesy of the Atlantic! I've also backed it up on the Wayback Machine and reposted the poem in its entirety in the comments, since it should be in the public domain.

Misc Notes: Sarah Orne Jewett had many passionate friendships with women, which marriage tended to strain. This poem perhaps recognizes that.
lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, enclosed within a circle with the words LB Lee. (Default)
[personal profile] lb_lee
"How I came to see him is a more difficult question. For to see him there is required a certain quality, for which truthfulness is too cold a name and animal spirits too coarse a one, and he alone knows how this quality came to be in me."

Blurb: A young priest meets an invisible faun that nobody else can see, hears the voices of the landscape, and finds a happier life where he's more honest with himself, even if he has to be closeted in his congregation.

Why is it worth your time?: It's a short, sweet story about breaking free of one's repression and building bonds to the natural and otherordinary world. It's in the public domain, so free and easy to read; give it a shot!

Plural/1+ Tags: abuse not mentioned, closeting, nonhumans (fauns), intimate relationships, visions

Content Warnings: Closeting, because this is a story about a gay man before World War I.

Accessibility Notes: This short story was omnibused in The Celestial Omnibus and Other Stories, which is screenreadable thanks to Project Gutenberg! It's also been omnibused many other times and is available in paperback and hardback. Also has been translated into Dutch as "De vriend van de dominee," collected into De hemelse paardetram en andere verhalen.

Misc. Notes (if any): Forster was gay. This story is a gay story, though it can't outright say so due to the time period. But if you know what he's talking about, it's pretty clear.
lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, enclosed within a circle with the words LB Lee. (Default)
[personal profile] lb_lee
Submitted by [personal profile] acorn_squash! Thank you, [personal profile] acorn_squash!

“With Rafe and me, the most common form of communion is through touch. Most often I will know he is there by the sense of an enfolding and encircling presence, often a distinct pressure. And I meet him also through words, which ring in my heart—as that day on the beach in British Columbia—but sometimes manifest themselves more outwardly as well. That ‘I love you’ I so longed to hear in life has been heard many times since his death, fashioned just like on that night when I relived his death, by forming the words distinctly and powerfully in my jaw.”

Publisher’s blurb: This is a guide-book for those who are called to the path of conscious love. This powerful book, written by an Episcopal priest, tells of her intense relationship with Brother Raphael Robin, a seventy-year-old Trappist monk and hermit. The romantic yet platonic relationship that ensued between the 50-year-old Bourgeault and the 70-year-old hermit lasted five years, until his death. Both believed that a relationship can continue beyond this life, and here Bourgeault describes her search for that connection before and after Robin's death.

Why is it worth your time?: It’s a sweet story. Bourgeault seems very happy with her relationship. She trusted her own experiences, even though they contradicted what everyone was telling her. Much of the book concerns the research she did to find a theological explanation for what was happening.

Plural/1+ Tags: abuse: not mentioned, creator speaks from experience, people: the dead, relationships: romantic, type: nonswitching, type: spiritual

Content Warnings: Death and Christian mysticism; it's in the title. Also: Christian perspectives on sexuality, occasional heteronormativity & sex-negativity, hot-and-cold relationship.

Accessibility Notes: Available as a library book in print or ebook.

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